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Most Recent Confessions on "painful"...
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12054.
I am completely in love with a woman I work with. We are both married (her husband also works where we do. We had an affair that lasted for 9 months a few years ago. It ended badly, she broke my heart. I am 18 years older then her and she dumped me to be with a man 10 years younger then she is. I didn't handle that very well and got in trouble at work and was almost fired over it. I made her end it with him because I told her I would tell her husband about me and him if she didn't. We didn't speek for over a year, About a year ago we started talking again and in that year I found out she had an affair with another guy which I suppected. Two months ago she ended that affair and we started seeing each other again. I know its totally stupid on my part because I went into a very deep depression when she dumped me the first time and tried to talk my life. But I love her more then any woman I have ever known. I had never cheated on my wife of 25 years until she came into my life.
As I said we have been seeing each other when we can which isn't often or at least not often enough. The problem is now the young guy she dumped me for the first time is back and wanting to get together with her again. How does a 54 year old man compete with a 27 year old, its a contest I can't win. I keep waiting thinking that each day she will say its over and I will lose her once again to him. She knows what it will do to me if that happens. Anyone but him, please anyone but him. I'm scare because I know what will happen to me, I'll sink into a deep depression again and don't know if I will survive. I cry just about every day thinking about not being able to be with the one woman that means the world to me.
Like I said I know I never should have went back but I am in love with her more the I can even write about. I pray to God that something will happen to this young guy and I know that is so wrong! I wish he would get a job away from here. I am so confused, I am hurting so back, I know what the best thing to do is, to walk away. But I can't seem to. God help me please! I love her so much but she causes me so much pain. Please God help me!
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