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11821. The other day I stole a pack of gum. I'm 47 and I have never, ever stolen a thing in my life! Oh but it was such a thrill! I thought my heart would jump out of my chest! I thinking of doing it again. I only hope it doesn't turn me into a klepto.
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11734. I can't stop touching my vagina. I am touching it right now. I bathe with my hand in my vagina. When I pee, I pee around my hand. Because. It is in my vagina. I can't have sex because my hand is in my vagina. This is such a problem.
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11556. So the other day our building janitor came into my office asking to borrow $20... My gut reaction was "hell no!!" so lied and told him that I didn't have the money on me and had to goto the bank. I actually had $100 bill in my wallet so I wasn't too far off. I then proceeded to avoid him and his calls, until afternoon when he came back into my office... at this point I was shocked that he was so persistent in getting this $20 bill, so I gave it to him. "Ok, i'll pay you back tomorrow" he says. And I believed him. He gave me a story about leaving his wallet at home and needing to buy something for his family. Ok fine, I want to help this guy.

Then the next day came and went. I thought to myself, ok..no biggie, just one day.. but that then turned into 3 days.. then 1 week.. 2 weeks.. I started to get pissed for some reason. It was only $20, but still!

Then finally, one day he showed up with a $20 bill in his hand saying thanks for helping him out! Instantly, i felt like robinhood or some other character of good...

anyway that's my confession
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